Guilt is an unrelenting monster with an insatiable appetite. He knows nothing but hunger to thrive on with sin, pain, and the vulnerability of sleeping little girls. Sleeping little girls who just want to be absolved so goddamned much that they’d do anything to be freed from the grasps of such a horrifying creature.
They would do anything.
Absolutely
anything.
I was faced with the Customs Security at LAX a little over a month ago when a question hit me hard.
“What do you want to become?”
It was an innocent question from a man just doing his job inspecting potential terrorists and susceptible drug dealers, but for some eclipse of a reason, it totally meant another thing to me.
“I’m studying to become a writer,” I said in a low voice, unsure whether my answer was valid or not.
“Come again?” he clarified.
“A writer.”
He scoffed a scoff so distinct that I couldn’t shake it off with another 1960 Valdivia Earthquake if ever it happened to pass me by.
“Good luck to you then.” he said sarcastically.
I gave him a small nod and proceeded to take my luggages from the carousel.
I have to admit, I was a bit surprised at the reaction of the customs officer. It was the first time he’d seen me – ever, yet he had the audacity to sneer upon my straight answer to his straight question.
Of course I shouldn’t be surprised, after all, artists are universally considered as belonging to the bottom of the corporate food chain. Especially art students. I’ve always noticed how much people looked up adoringly to engineering and medical students as if they were modern day heroes, and how much these looks of admiration faltered when an art student passed by. It borders on injustice – it’s just another form of racism.
I'd say this is right on the money.
One thing I learned about racism is that it never really ends. Up until this day and age, white supremacists still exist, minority groups still find shelter in their respective small numbers and women still earn 75 cents for every dollar that men earn. As cynical as this sounds, I don’t think racism will ever be eradicated from this damaged world. I really hope I’m wrong but somewhere, Reality is whispering , telling me vicariously that I’m not wrong. And that sucks.
