Goodbyes are always such big troubles. When you’ve lived so long with an addiction, or the love-of-your-life-so-far (and in your case, these two are the same thing) you end up trying to prolong them until they’re so stretched out they’re left hanging by a thread, and no longer what they used to be in the first place. You try to hold on to it even if it means holding on to something so breakable and so risky that anytime you fail to give it your hundred percent attention, it may just leave you dead.
But today you risked it all, and finally let go.
And you didn’t fall into a bottomless pit. Instead, you even found yourself standing on your two feet on solid ground.
Today you finally realized how sometimes you just have to know when enough is really enough. And that no matter how much you want something, you realize that growing up means not always getting what you want but mostly wanting what you need. Goodbyes are never easy, but it’s always going to be a part of life. If you end up holding on to every little fleeting thing that comes in your life, you’ll end up missing out on the big things the future has to offer. So I guess it all comes down to knowing when to say goodbye to the past and make room for a better future.
And once the tears and grievances past, you’ll realize how vindicated and strong you are for learning when to say enough to an illusion of happiness. Give real happiness a space to stay in your life. Try to do without the things you say that “you can’t live without” and instead work on yourself until you become so strong and so independent that you’ll have nothing to lose and nothing to fear. Go on, try it.
Love, Your Better Self