Tag Archives: relationships

I Don’t Know What Love Is But It Must Be Something Like This

Start complaining about your weight and not wanting to eat out anymore, and then hear the words “Why don’t we go grocery shopping and cook the food ourselves so both of us can go on your healthy diet?”

Go on a baseless tirade triggered by anxiety and fear. Apologize for acting like the person you swore you would never act like (i.e. mom). Instead of being scolded, be told how much you are appreciated for your temperance and that “you are not like your mother” and “I loaf you.”

Being told you still look great even after a hundred facial pricks from the dermatologist.

Not letting you drive because “the rain is too strong so I’ll just come and pick you up” even if it’s out of the way.

Chicken McNuggets for no particular reason.

Using the word “we.”

Using the word “us.”

Using the phrase “in the future.”

How you just know that there’s something a little more extraordinary than the average emotion lingering about you – in an almost overbearing kind of way – which you don’t really want to go away.

I don’t know what love is, or how love should be, but I’m pretty certain it’s something like this.




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I Don’t Miss You

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

but sometimes it’s hard not to



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(i do love you)

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Snaggletooth

“‘All you need is love’ was a lie cause we had love but we still said goodbye.” – Split Screen Sadness by John Mayer


A wise professor once told me that out of all the moments in our lives, it is the firsts and the lasts that stand out the most. What he told me wasn’t right. At least, not exactly.

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John Hughes Lied


I think that hospitals should start administering emergency units for people who are dying with a broken heart.
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Protected: #you’re the only one

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Love, I Get So Lost Sometimes

When I want to run away, I drive off in my car
But whichever way I go, I come back to the place you are

 

For all the moments I lose myself, you never fail to find me

 

Being with you

is just so instinctive.

 

 

 

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Polaris

I am at a loss for words – trying to fathom the feeling of being completely contented while still remaining unbelievably insatiable in the mere touch of a hand, or within unassuming caresses upon the back, or in childlike exchanges of gestural emotions.

It must have been a huge metaphysical coincidence for me to be such in a fortunate predicament.

 

To have found the most convenient romance in both a leman and “buddy” (or so he says).

To have been able to per usually kiss the person I want to kiss the most.

To have been able to spend unproductive weekday nights without having to feel like it’s a waste of time.

To have incorporated the pronoun “our”, as opposed to the more common “my”, more frequently in my vocabulary.

To have my hands feel right at home with another’s.

 

It just feels so much like a huge cliche; like those “jigsaw puzzle moments” where every piece, even the insignificant ones located northeast of the board, just seems to fit perfectly with each other.

And I keep on saying “I feel this” or “This feels that” – which would have repulsed me had I not been feeling the way I’m feeling right now. I mean, who actually feels this much emotion in one sitting?

Oh right, I do.

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A Spider The Size of a Buick

I thought of that old joke, y’know, this guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, “Doc, uh, my brother’s crazy; he thinks he’s a chicken.” And the doctor says, “Well, why don’t you turn him in?” The guy says, “I would, but I need the eggs.” Well, I guess that’s pretty much now how I feel about relationships; y’know, they’re totally irrational, and crazy, and absurd, and… but, uh, I guess we keep goin’ through it because most of us need the eggs. – Alvy Singer, Annie Hall, 1977

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Serendipity and Other Senseless Ideas

True or not?

I’m just so goddamn torn right now – between being rational and being emotional.

I try – REALLY HARD – not to believe in anything related to fate and destiny. Coincidence, synchronicity, serendipity and whatnot. I owe it to the fact that I look up to a lot of big figures of reason and rationality – Ayn Rand (no surprise there), Friedrich Nietzsche, Franz Kafka (albeit with a much darker, sinister, metaphoric and twisted veneer of reason) and to an extent, Plato. Destiny just seems too big of an inhibition in the grander scheme of things – which, in this case, is me being someone who can actually choose wherever I want to go and whatever the hell I want to do with my life.

But I don’t know.

And it’s such a weakness for me to admit that. The very statement “I don’t know” drives me nuts. And it sucks because most of the time I’m just so sure of myself – my thoughts, my principles and my beliefs. But now that I’m smacked headfirst with a totally unexpected event – with raw and real emotional sensations – all my certainties have become mere “maybe’s”.

Am I really resorting myself into believing pop culture hokum like the plot of a John Cusack movie, just for the sake of convincing myself that there’s something more than what actually is?

..Damn it , Di, stop being such a wuss. Ayn Rand does not approve!!!

A rose is a rose is a rose is a rose. – Gertrude Stein. (I should tell myself that more often. Just for the thrill of remaining like the person I want to be – sane and sensible. )

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